


If you land in jail (I’m your bail)

by ehemfitz



Category: Avengers (Comics), Captain Marvel (Comics), Marvel 616
Genre: Gen, Male-Female Friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-11
Updated: 2012-11-11
Packaged: 2017-11-18 10:16:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/559891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ehemfitz/pseuds/ehemfitz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Carol rescues Steve from a bad date.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If you land in jail (I’m your bail)

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place post-Captain Marvel #6, but the Avengers plot that’s mentioned is made up.

He honestly didn’t know how he got himself into these situations. At this point, nearly all of the Avengers had tried to set him up with a woman, and for the most part he’d refused. But he’d had a bad week (damn HYDRA), and thought maybe some company wouldn’t be so bad. He should’ve known better than take dating advice from Clint Barton though.

The woman seemed charming, having breezed in just a few minutes past 7, smelling of perfume and wearing an incredibly flattering green dress. Steve was surprised, at first, that Clint hadn’t tried to make a move himself. It was a bit uncharacteristic of him, but even old friends can surprise you, he supposed.

“You must be Steve! It’s so nice to meet you, Clint’s told me so much about the brilliant Captain America. Barbara Cabot,” she said, putting her hand out in front of her.

Steve took it before replying, “It’s nice to meet you, Barbara. Please, call me Steve.”

Barbara smiled, taking her seat across from him. “You know, you’re a lot shorter than I thought you’d be.”

“Surprisingly, that’s not something I hear too often. Hopefully it’s not too much of a disappointment,” he said, smiling a bit.

“We’ll see, I guess,” Barbara said. Steve hoped she was joking, but he couldn’t tell.

The waitress walked up with two glasses of water for the table, both with a lemon wedge in them. Suddenly, Barbara snapped at the waitress, “I didn’t want lemon in my water, I wanted watermelon!”

The waitress seemed confused. “I’m sorry, you want watermelon in your water?”

“Did I stutter?! Is it that hard to comprehend?”

The waitress apologized and took back the water before scurrying away. Steve was staring at Barbara, shocked by her rudeness. “You could’ve been a little nicer to he-“

“Excuse you, you don’t get a vote here. And don’t you dare drink your water before I get mine.” She hunkered down behind her menu, mumbling to herself.

Normally Steve would soldier on, but he’d had a long week and was in no mood to sit through another hour or two of this.

“Barbara, you know, I’ve got a meeting really early tomorrow morning and I should probably get going soon,” Steve said, trying very hard to sound polite and not like he was going to get out the hell out of there as soon as possible.

Barbara waved her hand aimlessly without looking up. “No worries, you’ll get home in time for your beauty sleep.” The waitress came back, empty handed. “Where’s my water?!”

“Ma’am, I’m sorry, but the kitchen is out of watermelon. It’s not in season.”

“It’s not in season?! You’re denying the date of Captain America watermelon because it’s not in season?! This is supposed to be a high-class restaurant! Your manager will be hearing from me, and you better not expect to be Zagat endorsed next year, let me tell you.”

Steve couldn’t handle this anymore. He managed to pull his phone out of his pants pocket and was suddenly thankful for his ability to text without looking. Almost all of the Avengers were busy with their own lives tonight, enjoying a rare night off after an exhausting week. Carol hadn’t fought HYDRA though, she’d been stuck in a time loop or something- Steve wasn’t sure of the details, but he’d heard the basics from Jess. Carol it was then.

_**Steve Rogers:**  Carol. SOS code 447. HELP._

Barbara was still looking at her menu, unaware of Steve’s furtive texting. He had never been more thankful for Carol’s attachment to her phone when he got a response.

_**Carol Danvers:**  What? What is 447?_

_**Steve Rogers:**  It means I’m on the worst date of my life and I need to be bailed out._

_**Carol Danvers:**  Is this worse than that one time when you accidentally went on a date with Batroc?_

_**Steve Rogers:**  YES. _

_**Carol Danvers:**  Ugh, fine, I’ll come get you. You better be glad I’m a lazy bum without plans tonight, Rogers._

Steve thanked her profusely and texted her the restaurant name.

Barbara was busy berating the waitress for their lack of raw food options on the menu by the time Steve saw Carol floating outside the window.

He quickly jumped in, smiling sympathetically at the waitress before saying, “Barbara, I don’t mean to be rude, but I just got called away on an urgent mission. One of my colleagues is here with my ride.” He gestured to Carol, before he continued. “It was nice meeting you, though.”

Barbara turned and glared at Carol through the window before saying to Steve, “Fine. You definitely weren’t what I was expecting anyway.”

Steve hurried out, grabbing his jacket from the back of his chair as he went.

“Danvers, I don’t think I’ve ever been so happy to see you, and considering how many times you’ve saved my life, I think that says something about my night so far.”

Carol smirked. “Yeah, well, you owe me big time. I interrupted a Star Wars marathon to come bail you out. The next time I’m out with a dud, you better believe I’m calling your army ass up to get me out of it.”

Steve laughed, rubbing his hand on his neck self-consciously. “Sorry about ruining your night, Carol. I know you just got home from that mission, you probably wanted to just blow off some steam and relax.”

“Nah, don’t worry about it. I know how much a bad date can suck, especially considering this week hasn’t been great for you either, from what I’ve heard,” Carol said, smiling a little. “You know, I could use some company for the rest of my Star Wars rewatch if you’d care to join me.”

Steve smiled, then said, “I’d like that. It’s not like I’ve got anything else to do anyway, considering how that date just went.”

Carol swooped down and picked Steve up, making sure he had a firm grip on her waist before gaining altitude again. “Oh, come off it, Rogers, you know I’d be your top pick any day of the week. And besides, I’ve been meaning to talk to you about something.”

“Oh yeah, what’s that?”

“Well, I don’t know how much Jess told you about my most recent mission, but I sort of kind of fought in World War II.”

“You did  _what_?”

“Yeah, I know. It sounds ridiculous for me to even say it. It was pretty incredible though. I fought next to the fiercest squad of pilots I’ve ever known.”

Steve laughed, “I swear, you blue suiters get a little crazier every day.”

“Hey now, watch it! Like you army guys are any better. You’ve told me quite a few stories about your time with the Invaders, you know. You got no legs to stand on here.”

“Yeah, yeah, Danvers.” Steve paused, then said, “I’m glad you’re back though. We were all getting pretty worried about you, you know.”

Carol looked over at him before answering. “You know better than to doubt me, Rogers. I’m Captain Marvel, after all.”

Steve laughed. “Oh, I know. You never let me forget it.”

“Damn straight I don’t,” she responded, before tightening her arm around him as they flew up to her apartment.

Despite the fact his date had been horrible, having a movie marathon with Carol was anything but Steve’s idea of a bad Friday night.

But he was still going to kill Clint.

**Author's Note:**

> Oddly enough, most of Barbara's behavior was based on actual stories of bad dates I found through google. It's a weird world.


End file.
